I'll Be Fine
by dragonrose8910
Summary: No matter what, I'll make sure you're happy. You're my best friend. You're the most beautiful girl in Ouran Academy. The smartest in our class. I've always known you're my better half, and that's okay.I liked him too. I liked him a lot. But you're so much more passionate, more fitting with him.Everyone loves you, Natsumi. So don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
1. Chapter 1

"You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon is too late."  
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Life is chaos.

Buildings around us crumbled as the bomb's aftershock still captivated what once was New York City. Streets were cloaked in rubble, smoke suffocating any bit of life from the war zone. Cars were upturned, amber flames licking up from their underbellies. No soul seemed to exist in the barren landmark.

Except for me.

Carefully I peered into my shooting scope before lowering the rifle from my field of vision. I didn't dare waste time to look left or right as I shoot out from the broken wall that had provided me shelter once. I had to find my target. They were here, somewhere, anywhere. I just needed to locate them. It didn't matter the possible danger that I threw myself into as I watched the world bounce around from how I ran. Trash and stone were kicked away from my track as I thundered through the American city.

Just as I raced passed a Coca-cola truck with tires long stolen, stuck forever perpendicularly across the road, something black smudged itself quickly away from my vision. I spun around on pins and needles, jumping to aim-mode.

The figure dove behind the truck, hoping I hadn't spotted them. But it was too late. A small smirk pulling across my face, "I see you..."

I had my finger just a hair away from firing, ready to fill my target's chest with lead. I leapt around, pulling the trigger. My gun burst, the bullet flying into the once-office building window. As the smoke cleared way, I saw no victim or target in sight. I paled, suddenly overcome with panic.

 _Where could she have gone?_ I bit my lip as I tried to spin around. But it was already too late.

"Haha! Got ya'!" Before I could even get out of the way, the sound of a bullet breaking from its home filled the air. The ammo erupted through my chest, through my heart, blood spurting everywhere as I was thrown forward against the dirty world.

The laughter continued to fill my ears as everything faded into an empty black.

"[YOU'RE DEAD!]"

filled my half of the screen in an electronically glowing red text.

Sharing on the same flat-screen TV, the other half was still bright with the Dystopian city. The view was from on top of the truck, looking down at my awkwardly bent body. However their words scrawled across the screen read, "[VICTOR!]"

I mumbled out an animalistic groan as I tossed away my game controller without much care before falling backwards. "Goddammit," I said as I nestled further into my armada of pillows that wrapped around us.

My friend continued to laugh, running her fingers through the fiery locks that burned through my room. "I win again!" she sung out in a condescending tone. She too set her controller down, shuffling herself to face where I moped, "Wanna go one more round?"

"Not against you," I kicked her slightly, a smile still coming to my face as I tried to look upset, "You always win."

"Come on!" she continued to press, retaliating with another kick, "I _promise_ I'll go easy on you this time, Yuki!"

I finally move myself to a sitting position, my charcoal hair cloaking past my elbows, "That's even worse! If I am gonna beat you, I want to beat you fair and square."

My auburn-haired friend huffed, her lips puckering up in a pout as she hugged a pillow, "It's totally fair and eighty-percent more fun since we still get to play."

I laughed at her sulk, shooting a glance at my clock. It read out, "00:14 AM". I shuffled out from my little nest of blankets and pillows to rise up. I reached up towards my ceiling, hearing my spine crack as I leaned to the left and right. My nightgown brushed against my knees as I settled my arms back down as I looked at my friend, "We should head to bed, Natsumi, we've got school tomorrow."

"But I'm not tired yet," she protested with a drooping expression. Her golden eyes squeezed shut as the yawn took up her entire face.

I rolled my eyes, "Doesn't look like it at all." I gave a faded smile though to her, "Come on, let's grab something to eat at least before we go to sleep." She knew the code, immediately sparking energy back into her.

Natsumi returned the smile, a bit of devil seeking into her eyes, "Sounds good." She stood up next to me and we both made our exit. The long halls of my estate stretched with popular idols photographed across the walls. She and I both tugged at our socks as we centered ourselves in the hallway.

3... We both exchanged small glances.

2... The slight nod of understanding,

1...

Go! And we shot off. Our feet slammed against the polished wood and we slid as fast as we could. If either of us felt the ourselves slowing down, we started running again to continue a slide. Natsumi and I bit our lips as we tried to contain our laughter, shoving at one another slightly to beat the other.

It was our little tradition every time we went to get food. Even though we were fifteen, It didn't matter how old we were getting, it was still one of the funnest things to do in the middle of the night.

And like every time, Natsumi glided ahead. Her fingers grappled around the corner through the dining room so she would easily shoot towards the kitchen doors. I tried to imitate her, though my hands missed the edge, scrapping just a bit away. I skidded too far and fell to the floor, my chin bouncing against the hard floors.

A laughter erupted from around the corner, footsteps returning back to where I had pathetically lumped myself. Natsumi cackled and cackled as she reached down, "You all right there, tiger?" She snaked around my arm and helped me back up. I took a deep breath in as I tried to neaten my hair back into place, black strands falling in all directions.

"I'm good, I'm good," _my knees hurt a bit, though._

"Alright, as long as you're okay," she still held the widest grin, "then I won _again_."

I still chuckled, brushing off my night gown, "Ouch, just rubbing salt in the wound now!" Natsumi leapt in with the giggles. The two of us continued on with our mission, though this time the race gone, as we peaked into the kitchen.

Shadows coated the silver-chrome world, yet it was still able to glimmer as we snuck into the abandon room. Pots and pans hung from ceiling racks, stove tops confusing themselves with dishwashers and ovens. The two of us slipped over to one of the ginormous fridges and began to search though its contents.

"What'd you wanna eat?" I asked, digging past the crisp ingredients.

"Hmm... Fried rice?" Natsumi suggested, popping away from the fridge to one of our many pantries.

I looked around the metallic door to see where my friend raked through my pantry, "Do you want to set the whole kitchen on fire, again? Let's stick to something we can microwave."

She didn't seem to listen as she snapped up a bag of rice grain, a beam filling her ambiance.

"Natsumi..." I spoke in a hinted threatening tone.

The summer-haired girl spun around to me, "Hey, whose the chef here?"

"Gustabe-Sama, but he's sleeping right now," I said flatly, eyes sinking to a blank stare.

"That's not what I meant," Natsumi replied with her furrowed-eyebrow pout. She bounced about the kitchen, grabbing a pan and sliding it easily onto one of our many stove-tops. In a couple of clicks, she had the electric stove running and she began to spill the milky grains into the pan without much of care.

I shadowed over her on my toes, "I think that's a bit too much."

"No," she snapped, "It needs just a bit more." With that, she snatched up one of the spatulas and pushed the sizzling rice about. "Could you get me some butter?"

I just nodded, giving in to Natsumi as I grabbed the a stick of butter. I sliced it up so she would have easier chunks to mix and slid them over to her on a platter. Natsumi swept them up and quickly swirled them into her dish.

She continued to order ingredients and I bobbed around the kitchen before she could start burning our midnight snack. It was maybe ten minutes when we both gazed down at the heap of swollen rice that dribbled over the skillet.

"I told you there was too much," I muttered.

Natsumi didn't react much as she paced over to where dishes were kept. She pulled down two matching plates and glasses before she shoveled the rice onto them. I understood and returned back to the fridge, tugging out one of the many 2-liter bottles of coke. I poured the russet liquid into the paired cups, little tan fizz leaping out as I finished.

The two of us slid into seats around the Kitchen island, mainly for where the kitchen staff eats their meals. For us, it was where we enjoyed our midnight snacks. We both silently picked at the rice, cramming each bit into our mouths. It was quite good. The simple flavors creating a medley across my taste buds. My stomach bubbled up in satisfaction as I felt a little light gleaming.

Quietly, I began to hum a song that had been stuck in my head all day.

My friend glanced up. She took a large gulp, making sure no food was left before she began to grin, "Hey, tomorrow after classes we should visit the host club!"

"Ooh, definitely!" a grin suddenly burned across my face at the suggestion. A little bit of excitement tingled at my toes at the thought.

"Glad you're on board," Natsumi snickered, "Because I already set up an appointment for us with the Hitachiin twins on Friday!" I could only laugh, she couldn't really surprise me ever with this sort of stuff. At the beginning of the school year, she had done this quite often. I would get upset that she made plans without talking to me, but now I was used to it.

 _That means I get to see him_ , I sucked in my lips further. Feathers tickled inside me as I thought about it. I had just been beaming, yet I felt as if I had to mask this smile. I rolled my toes in and out as what to say tomorrow started bouncing in my head.

My friend continued to babble on about the club in her bubbly way, enthusiasm radiating from her very essence as she waved her hands around. She brought up different situations and we laughed about old stories. She couldn't stop smiling as she enthused about every little detail.

I just quietly nodded, listening to her.

Natsumi Azuma. Class 1-C at Ouran Academy, a school for the most elite, here in Japan. Straight A's since middle school, three track medals and she even won a beauty contest last year. And god, she's really beautiful. Long ribbons of deep-red hair that curled around her perfect, hourglass figure. She was graced with a peachy skin tone that gave her this spirit that just screamed she was alive, as her golden eyes just oozed an exotic allure. Despite her natural looks, she would take an hour every morning to make sure her long eyelashes were just that much more noticeable with mascara, painted her lips a bubblegum pink gloss, and dashed an extra shade of rose against her cheeks. her voice was basically a song as she spoke with a constant enthusiasm that drew everyone to love her.

She was just the main character of life.

She's quite friendly, but doesn't really trust too many people. Maybe I'm bias, but as she glows around all those she talks to, there is still this wall about her.

There is one girl though that she trusts. Her best friend, Yuki Kaneko.

Hi, I'm Yuki Kaneko. And I'm Natsumi Azuma's best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

"Dammit!"

I spun around, a brush still pulling through a few knots of hair as I glanced at my friend. Natsumi was crouched by her bag, still draped in her pajamas as she rifled through her belongings. Her hair was already spun up into a tight ponytail, Natsumi's crossed expression caked in fine layers of makeup. "Everything alright?" I asked, continuing with my brushing.

Natsumi glanced up to where I stood, almost ready to walk out the door, "I forgot my uniform at home." Her honey eyes held slight desperation as they flickered towards my clock. It was easy to see the gears turning in the back of her mind, debating if it was worth risking her perfect attendance to zoom home and then to school.

For the "perfect" girl, she was quite forgetful.

"You are _so_ lucky," I laughed, pacing over to my closet, "I have a spare you can borrow." I fingered through my collection of clothes to pull out the satin tea dress, its lemon hue matching exactly the one I wore.

"Oh my gosh, thank you!" All the tension unwound from Natsumi, her shoulders dropping as she grinned up to me. She stepped back to her feet, carefully taking the dress from my hands to change. I resumed back to my vanity, staring into my reflection.

In the decorating the rim of the wide mirror were pictures taped around, starting to yellow at the edges. One when mom and dad took me to visit the United States as a little kid, the three of us squished together to fit the frame as I tried to waved an American flag. Mom and dad were traveling with a public official, so it was a business trip, but it was still fun. Beside that one was of Natsumi and I back in our first day of middle school, our brown uniforms melting in with the rest of the crowd. My best friend was grinning as she dragged me away in the photo. Flower gardens and tourist spots dotted the other photos but I still smiled.

Carefully I picked up some blush, sweeping by my cheek bones to bring some color into my snowy skin. I switched to some eyeliner, meticulously drawing a thin line at the rim of my top lids. My violet eyes seemed just a bit larger from the black liquid.

I wanted to do a bit more, but I decided against it as I took up a front lock of hair that had been previously resting on my shoulder. I swept it up to hold in the back of my head, following to grab the lock hanging on my opposite shoulder and doing the same. Quickly, I snapped up a red ribbon, to match my stringy bow tie, to type up the hair in the back.

Steadily, I let my arms lower as I analyzed the face in the mirror. It was easy to pull out the slightly uneven foundations, where stray hairs frizzed out from how I tried to style them. The girl reflected back at me tried to force some thing like a smile, but it was all crooked. Tense on one side as the other just kind of gave up. Her eye brows scrunched together as if she were mad, or something.

"All ready!" A voice cracked from behind me. The yellowish figure shifted into the reflection, the bodice tightly pulling against their shape. I took a step out from my seat to face the fully prepared Natsumi. She had managed her curls into a messy side-braid that looked purposefully wild as she ran her fingers across her shoulders. "The chest is pretty tight, but it'll work for today, thanks again!"

I flinched sightly as she said that. Natsumi didn't mean an ounce of offence from her tone, but I darted my stare out to my arching window wall. I tried to ignore how baggy the front of my dress was compared to how hers struggled to stay together it seemed.

 _Stop comparing yourself, Yuki!_ I scolded internally as I watched a few sunset-shaded leaves whisked by. By taking a staggering breath, I looked back up to Natsumi's eyes, "Alright, let's go. The driver should be waiting." Swooping up our leather-box schoolbags, we made our way out to the car that awaited.

It was a quick car ride, the two of us chattering in our own little world that our driver would just hear as nonsense. Time barely seemed to pass as we pulled in front of the Academy. We both ducked out the car, waving thanks to Driver Kim as we melted into the massive blob of students.

Thus began the daily greetings as she hand I walked in step with Natsumi through the school.

"Morning, Natsumi-san!"

"Good morning!"

"You're hair looks great today, Natsumi-san!"

"Thank you! And you're hair bow loots adorable, Minami-san."

"You're dress looks a little tighter today, Natsumi-san. It's quite fitting!"

"Really? I was afraid it would look strange, thank you so much for saying so!"

It wasn't so unusual for her shower of greetings. She was quite popular with everyone, especially with her million-dollar smile she flashed at each student who passed. It didn't take long for a group of other girls to ensnare Natsumi into conversation. They were discussing the latest novel they were reading in their Advance English class, apparently it was by a popular American romance. The Fault in our something or other. I, by default, was gravitating beside Natsumi, just offset from their circle.

As others passed down the halls, I caught eyes with a friend I had met a few times in the host club. We both exchanged pleasant smiles and I expected her to continue down her path, however that was not the case. She stepped beside me with her faint smile, "Good morning, Kaneki-san. Are you planning to visit the Host Club today?"

"Morning. And yes, in fact, My friend and I have an appointment set up with the Hitachiin twins today." I explained, keeping my hands wrapped around my elbows as I chatted.

The other girl's eyes lit up with a slight amusement, "You signed up to be one of the priority guests, correct? When I saw that Kyoya posted about that on the Host's website, I was slightly skeptical. Tell me if the benefits are worth it."

We both smiled to one another out of formality, "Of course." before I could make another word out, grand bells sang through the halls in a melodic theme. It was to inform class was starting in five minutes. I gave a polite farewell to the other student before turning back to redheaded best friend who was just waving off to the other girls. "Ready to head to class, Natsumi?"

"Yep," she carefully pulled a loose strand of hair from between her eyes, "You know you don't have to wait for me everyday. You can head to class whenever you like."

I know she didn't mean anything by her words. Her bright grin was conveying only worry that I would be bored around her other friends, or that I would miss class because of her. However my heart still constrained as I bit my tongue, because what if...

What if she really just didn't want me around her other friends?

"Nah, I like waiting! Come on, class is gonna start without us," I ushered, walking into Class 1-C. Most of the students hovered generally around their seats but still kept their chatter live. Natsumi and I wandered to our front row seats and prepared for class. Everything quieted when the teacher stepped in.

Thus our day trolled on, flipping between workbooks, scribbling notes from the board. A few of the kids, of course, took none of the lessons seriously. The minute the lunch bell chimed, students were flying down to the cafe, others drifting in and out of the other classrooms to converse with their friends.

Natsumi was obviously socializing as she gracefully put her books away, talking with a few other girls about the newest first year host, Haruhi Fujioka. I strained my ear to pick up on their conversation, dying to jump in, however I knew I couldn't.

My fingers strangled the violent mechanical pencil it cradled as my eyes scanned the paper in front of me. Over and over, I looked at the same lines that I had jotted down the class period before.

(x+1)(2x-4)(1/(x+4))=(1+x)(2x+4)(1-5/(2x-4))

2x-4=(x+1)(2x-4)-5(x+1)

2x-4=2x^2-2x-4-5x-5

0=2x^2-9x-5

0=(2x+1)(x-5)

I constantly ran my tongue over my molars the more I looked at the problem. The bell had ended the lesson just before the teacher was able to write down what x equaled. She told the remaining students to solve it themselves, saying it was an easy solve, but I didn't even have a clue how she even got anywhere within the problem.

"Hey Yuki," Natsumi's voice felt distant as I was consumed by the problem. I gave her a halfhearted grunt of acknowledgment. "We're heading over to class 1-A to spy on Fujioka-kun along with the Hitachiin twins."

My gaze tore to her, heart leaping at the idea of the twins. But I knew how to prioritize. I took in a shaken breath, "Sorry, go on without me. I have to finish these notes."

 _All right, when there are only two parts left like this... You separate the problems into two different equations..._

My hand began to scribble what I thought would be the next lines:

0=x-1 0=2x-5

 _Then solve from there..._

0+1=x 0+5=2x  
x=1 5/2=x

My nose crinkled as what was left stared up at me. "I hate fractions... Screw it, I'm leaving it as is," I muttered beneath my breath. Finished with the equation, I circled what I had, utterly unaware of what I had done wrong. I could at least solve from the end of the equation properly, so that's all I needed.

I was so screwed for my next mathematics exam, wasn't I?

Groaning with utter discontent I gave in and dropped my head. Forming my arms into a pillow over my rosewood desk, I gave myself some time to just appear sleeping. My eyes stayed fixated out the window. The cherry trees had lost all of their vibrant spring petals months ago, their summer green leaves had started to curl with shades of orange and red. A single breath of wind would send them spinning.

Was it too late to go and catch up with the others to look into class 1-A? Yeah, I believed it was. They were probably having fun, talking it up with the other students. I would just be a bother if I jumped in then.

Dammit, I should've just let that math problem be and went along with them to start with... I reached an arm to cover the top of my head, closing my eyes slowly.

The rest of the classes passed in a napping blur behind my workbooks, my few lucid moments were spent cursing the fact I sat in the front row and hoping the teacher didn't catch me. A few times, the instructor would peer from the chalkboard with what looked like venom in their eyes towards my corner.

When dismissal finally came, I shuffled my books away swiftly and gave a light dusting to my dress. Natsumi was still talking to a few friends at the day's end so I waited by our classroom's open door and spent my waiting watching the other students pass.

A couple of them would catch my eye and we would politely exchange farewells before they were off on their way. My fingers tightened around the handle of my book bag with anticipation. My foot had even started to tap.

Eventually, Natsumi came over with a bright grin, "ready to head to the host club?"

I returned the grin eagerly, "You bet." And off we were to Music Room 3. Our feet pattered down the marble halls with a flood of other girls like a migration through Academy. The way there felt almost too ingrained into our memory.

Standing before the gilded doors, I met the amber eyes of my best friend and we knew. Both of us each took up a golden door handle and yanked with all of our strength to open the flood gates. Rose petals came flying from out of nowhere, tangling their way into my hair, yet I couldn't help but to blush slightly as I looked into the club room. Many other female students were drifting between the tea sets and lounge couches. The pastel warmth painted the room as I stepped in, already searching the crowd. It took only moments to see my friend from earlier that day laughing with a few other girls around Tamaki-Senpai. The scholarship student, Haruhi Fujioka was biting his lip as he balanced a tray of steaming tea towards a table of upperclassmen girls, who were giggling uncontrollably. There was one, though, I was specifically hunting for.

A flash of hair like autumn leaves scattered off to his right. Sharp golden eyes with a flicker of life. laugh with his brother's that filled the room. A few girls surrounded he and his twin, flustering about.

"Stop gawking and let's go over there," Natsumi snaked her arm into a chain with mine and pulled me across the room. With each step closer, I felt the heat crawl further up my neck and brush my cheeks. We stood around their little table, I standing a pace just behind my began to speak melodically with a friendly wave. "Excuse me! We have an appointment with you two for three-thirty. Which would be-"

"Right now," A voice broke the scene. An upperclassman with raven feathered hair stood a few paces away, his uniform pristinely ironed as he stabilized a silver laptop in one arm, typing with his open hand. Kyoya Ootari gave a thin smile to the two of us, "Appointment for Natsumi Azuma, first year, and Yuki Kaneki, also first year. Good afternoon ladies and thank you for being punctual; it truly is appreciated. The brotherly love package will be ready for you in a moment, and as priority guests I am here to give you VIP invites to our Halloween Masquerade in one month." With that, he handed out two foil cards. They were a velvet red decorated with glittering, shining leaves to falling round the swirling script of 'VIP'.

I brushed my fingers against the varying textures of the card, flipping it around to read the rest of the information. My shoulders pulled down with my stomach as I knew the date all too well. From the corner of my vision, I was able to catch the former guests of the twins making their way out. In that time, Natsumi did the communication for the both of us, "It sounds wonderful! However I'm not quite sure if we'll be able to make it." She turned with a softened glance towards me, "Yuki, will your parents still be holding their halloween bash? I know you always have to make an appearance and I don't want to leave y-"

"You won't be able to make it?"

"That's quite sad, Hikaru. Look, it's bringing tears to my eyes."

I blinked as the two brothers slink around us. I quickly became fixated on the one brushing his finger under Nastumi's chin. Swiftly, the other brother moved to Natsumi's other side and imitated his twin.

The twin to initiated the moment pulled his hand away. Hikaru Hitachiin. His clear skin practically glowing as he left a lingering look towards his twin on Natsumi's other shoulder. His scorching eyes twisting as if they were trying to decide, "Oh, Kaoru, don't be sad!" slowly he slipped from Nasumi and entangled his lengthy arms around his brother, "I will still be there to dance with you."

Koaru glanced down with closed eyes and his voice shivered, "But these ladies won't be able to see our lovely suits. Our mother designed them just for the occasion."

Hikaru grasped his twin's jaw tenderly to turn his face so their noses were kissing, "But I don't care if they see you, Kaoru! I don't want anyone to see how handsome and dashing you will look!" A lump started to form in my throat as Hikaru moved his soft-looking lips to just caress Kaoru's ear, "I want to save you all for myself."

Beside me, I could feel the raw fangirl energy emanating from my best friend since she had pulled herself away to give the two twins some room. She silently began to slap my shoulder in a doggy-paddle form as her ragged breathing tried to form words. I shared her intense feeling, however I hid it behind my hands. Splitting my fingers, I would peak out at where Hikaru positioned himself in full swing of emotions with his brother.

The first year's hair feathered over his brow as he helped steady his other half. Hikaru's melting eyes danced across the room, lingering from Kaoru to Nasumi, and to me. Each time, Hikaru would curl his mouth into this mischievously enchanting smirk that turned my heart into a hummingbird.

I had no connection between my brain and my mouth for the briefest moment I felt any bravery to even talk.

"We'll definitely be coming to the masquerade."

 **A/N: When Rose reads fanfiction after a long dinner with her parents, that means she jolts out of bed at midnight saying, "When one has the writing bug, one must write!" Then she jumped onto youtube and filled her head with music via headphones. Then her computer mousepad went haywire and still is slightly haywire. Which meant a few hours of frustration and finally sleep. Then waking up to continue fixing and writing.**

 **And thus this chapter happened.**

 **Heyyyy, but I updated right? That's good.**

 **Oh, and no, I don't know how to make Fried Rice.**

 **-Rose**


	3. Chapter 3

_"I waited for you,_ _I waited for you,_

 _I had so many chances I could never go through,_

 _I pause and look back,_

 _Then I lose track,_

 _I spent so much time I could never get back."_

The singer's dulcet voice beat through my headphones along with the band's careful playing. A drum beat rang in rhythm along with its attached cymbal. Intertwined with them was a repetitious four cords from a bass. Re: Re by Asian Kung Fu Generation was the latest song on my shuffled playlist. the phone I was listening to it wrapped around just out of my vision on my bed.

The room was quite spacious for me, the jasper flooring panels covering the surface area with a few rugs here and there. The back wall of windows, opposite of my room's door, was covered in a thin violet curtain, and moonlight still flooded my artificially lit room. I tended to keep the room meticulous; well, the maid did at least. The only mess at the moment the sprawl of notes and workbooks across my bed, surrounding me in a paper nest.

I never had more than what was necessary in my bedroom. Never more than I was expected to have.

A walk-in closet next to my room's door filled off to one side with all the gowns and tea dresses my parents thought would look just lovely on me. A vanity shoved off into the corner by the windows filled with all the best makeups my parents could find. A ferociously pink, queen-sized, princess-canopy bed centered into the room, just under the crystal chandelier flickering with the room's source of light. Just across from my bed was a flat screen television, so I could watch my parent's clients perform with such mastery of appearance and politeness. Just below the monitor was one of the only things I ever asked for myself. It was a sleek, black PS4 with two wireless controllers currently wound up on their charging cords. A few games were stacked beside it, perfectly in line with one another's corners.

Just a few.

My fingers laced themselves into my hair, pulling back so I could cradle the base of my skull. I fell back onto the bed, a few papers bouncing up with the flop. Each notes page was traced in equations and the workbooks were filled with step-by-step walkthroughs for mathematics, yet none of it made a lick of sense.

The very thought of sitting back up and continuing studying the horrendous subject twisted up my stomach and created a black hole of disinterest. I kicked out a leg to push a fraction of work off onto my floor with a tumbling thump.

I let my mind wonder off, playing back to the events that happened at school earlier today. I frown tugged my face down as I impulsively told Hikaru that I would be able to attend the masquerade.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ I chanted and flung my arms to cover my face. Bits of light still trickled between my elbows. I had known I'd never be able to make it but those words still came rolling off of my tongue so naturally.

A knock came at my door and, without any invite, began to groan open. "Dinner is ready, Kaneki-Gozen."

Warily tugged my arms away just scarcely so that the glittering chandelier would be seem to leer even brighter. "Thank you for informing me," I distantly said to whichever maid had come in and bowed out at my polite dismissal.

Within moments of the interaction, I swung myself up to stand. I gave a quick finger-brushing to my hair and deemed myself finished enough.

However timing had it's own mind when I stepped out of my room. Immediately, I was to cross paths with my mother. Our matching amethyst eyes connected and her ruby-painted lips thinned, "Good evening, Yuki."

The tightness in her voice was apparent. It must have been a long day at the agency. I gave her a meek nod, pulling a couple strands of hair behind my ear, "Good evening, Mom."

She gave into her habit of biting her lip and all the air within me froze in mid-expanse, "Is that what you are wearing to dinner tonight?"

"What?" I immediately glanced down to my violet nightgown, the opaque silk making it seem more like a small dress than anything. My fingers played with a few of the adorned ribbons, "Well, it's not like we have any clients over tonight, right? A-And we aren't going out... I didn't think there was anything wrong with just wearing this to dinner."

My mother continued to gnaw at her lip and I knew she was building all the different ways in her mind to make me look more presentable. "There isn't anything wrong, per se. It's just, your father and I would love it if you put forth more of an effort with us. What about that new periwinkle dress I bought you last weekend? You know, the one with the empire waist? It would look darling on you, sweetie. I'll tell your dad that you are taking a few more minutes to powder your nose," she winked to me as if it were a favor, "I'll see you in the dining hall in a few moments."

I smiled to her, trying to make sure it didn't shine too brightly, "All right, mother. See you in a few." She beamed back before walking back down the hall, her heels clapping against the flooring growing more and more distant.

Finally I loosened my breath while my eyes still followed her. My hand trailed up its opposite arm as I felt my shoulders slouch.

 _Do as you're told, Yuki_.

With that, I turned back into my room to "powder my nose".

A quick change and a brushing of my hair and I was ready for the dinner.

"Shoulders."

"Sorry," I shot up, shoulders rolling back as I stood on the edge of our dining room. My father's blunt voice immediately picking at my exhausted posture. I was already trembling, my fingers nervously pulling at the ends of my dress just out of sight from my parents. The chiffon dress fell a few inches passed my knees. A dark blue ribbon tried to contrast the light color of the overall fabric as it wrapped just beneath my chest and a second ribbon of the same shade turned the dress into a halter top.

Beside my father, who positioned himself at the head of the long table, my mother was waving with a sugary glint in her eyes, "The dress looks beautiful on you, Yuki. Just as I said it would." I simply nodded to her, keeping my words short. "Go on, sweetie, you may take a seat."

With a bow of my head, bits of hair trickling over my shoulder, I took the closest spot to me. And the farthest from them, positioned and the other head of the table.

Our eyes silently conversed as the staff filed in to place our meals onto the table. Once I had counted a full minute the food had been served, I tore my gaze away and became seemly entranced by the casual lobster tails before me. Making sure I would keep the dress absolutely pristine with three cloth napkins, I began to crack up the shells and pull out the rosy meat with a fork.

Mother and father continued to drag work home, entrapped in their own world at the other end of the room, leaving me to watch from the other side. Not like I had really mind all that much.

If they were going to stay there, I'd be just fine in creating my own little universe. It would be made of glass so that everyone could see me, and I could see them. Just never interact. And it would be just fine.

Between mousy bites, a tune began to fill my head from a song I hadn't heard in awhile. I ran my tongue over my teeth as I started to pull out the lyrics in my mind, as if I was silently singing along to the silence around me. All I could remember was the chorus and I put it to loop in thought as I tried to remember the rest.

 _When I was king. I was king. We had everything. When I was king. I was King. We had everything._

"Yuki, please stop humming. It isn't proper."

My head snapped up from the dinner before me, my throat suddenly feeling very raw when I met my father's smokey-eyed gaze. "Ah, I apologize father. I hadn't realized I had begun humming."

His fork was resting in his hand so gently as its tip just touched his plate, "So I see. It's a bad habit do in public. You could be mistaken for someone of a lower class, and if you wish to go anywhere in life, you must never be mistaken for someone as such. You may keep your humming to your room, and around the manor as long as we don't have any guests."

I broke the eye contact to focus instead on the dinner that suddenly turned incredibly unappetizing, "Yes, father."

Silence suddenly became like a fist around my throat as I pushed some white rice around. My father however, always seemed to hate conversation lulls and found time perfect to clear his throat, "Look, I didn't mean to sound so hash. I'm just looking out for you, Yuki. I wouldn't want anyone to have a poor impression of you. You're precious to your mother and I."

 _Wouldn't want to have a poor impression._ What other words would you expect from a man who is Chairman of an agency for image consultants. My mother was of course the best consultant on the team.

"I understand, father." Keep it short. Keep it sweet. He had taught me that when I was maybe six or seven and was going to have me attend my first of his client parties.

Client party. If his agency, my mother especially, picked up a client of a certain esteem (either in fame, money, or status) then he would hold a celebratory party at our manor. He would invite a few friends and family, however it was mainly a connections party. People of all different companies, governmental ranks, talent firms, music industry. The Press. They would come to see the newest client his team had groomed. It was the client's first test with their new look and training to a carefully selected party. As the agency Chairman, of course my father would have to attend.

And as the Chairman's daughter, of course I would have to attend as well.

The upcoming party came to mind as I drifted on my memories. I stole as much air as I could, breathing to calm my nerves when I set my silverware down. The gentle chime they gave away caught the attention of both my parents, eyes flying to where I sat.

Underneath the table, I balled a napkin up in my palm to control the shaking, "Mother, father. I Would like to talk about the next approaching client party."

"What is it, sweetie?" my mother's honey-enchanted voice only pulled sweeter as she gave her famous close-mouthed smile towards me.

I constantly repeated for myself to breathe as I stared right straight between their two heads. By looking between them, it seemed as if I was looking at both them. "Well, it just so happens to be on the same date as a masquerade that the... Ouran Academy host club is, well, hosting." At the point of introducing another event, I could see my father shift in his seat. My mother shot her eyes to him as if to make him settle.

She returned her gaze back to me with a duller smile pulling to show her teeth, "Your point?" her tone was laced with a bitter edge.

By God, I knew that smile. It threw everything off course. Both my hands clasped the napkin under my lap and played a twisting game of tug-o-war. Saliva gathered at the back of my throat in a choking glob, "Well, you see, I, um..."

"Yuki, avoid the filler words."

"Yes, of course, father." those were his first words to even add to the conversation. It somehow drew half of my fear of rejection away yet settled another feeling at my point. Another fear. One I knew all too well, "Straight to the point then, I would like to attend the host club's masquerade instead of the client party."

"Absolutely not." My father's brow dove down to meet is twisted nose. His thin lip snarling up as a small fire flickered behind his teeth. It was somehow more relieving, but that one known fear didn't waver.

" _Hitoshi,"_ my mother hissed towards him. Her shoulders then sagged slightly. I immediately took in as much air as I knew the eyes she was about to give me. Then, right there, she turned her gaze to look at me. Her violet eye coated in a state of disappointment. Disappointment in me. I was going to vomit if they stayed that way, "Look, Yuki, what you're father is trying to say is that this client party is very important to us and it would be better if you were to be there at our side. Plus, this _host_ club doesn't sound very reputable."

Actually mother, the students are all in class-A across their grade levels, happen to be very kind and caring, are well-organized as a true business would, and work as hard as any other club, and, and... I couldn't say it. I couldn't say any of it to her. It felt so impossible. It always felt impossible. The napkin started to tear slightly between my fingers and I knew I had to drop it.

The small cloth slipped from my hand as I tried to paint the most stone of expressions, "I understand, mother."

Her eyes shut and a smile filled her face as she tried to erase her past expression. Her past voice. Returning to a plastic joy, "I'm glad you do. Thank you for seeing what is really important, Yuki. We appreciate it."

"Of course, mother."

I continued to eat, even if I had felt full since I had sat down. I ate until each little scrap of food was gone, because it was only polite to eat all that was set before you. However, once I was finished, that was it. "May I be excused? I have a considerable amount of studying I must attend to."

"Of course, do keep those grades up." Said my father.

"Have a good night, Sweetie." Said my mother.

Love you, said no one. I liked to believe no one had to.

With that, I bowed out and lucidly flew back to my room. I easily changed from the dinner dress to what I was wearing merely an hour ago. It felt redundant, but it was what they wanted. However, just for tonight, I lied.

Screw the homework that were more like blankets across my bed.  
Screw mathematics that didn't make a single bit of sense.  
Screw my grades which were good enough.  
Screw the host club that just _had_ to throw a party on the same day my parents through a party.

After hanging the dress in a closet, I moved to turn on my PS4, yanking a controller from its charging cord. I threw a couple pillows up against the back of my bed frame and started up whichever game was still left in the system. That night, I played and played. I played until my eyes were too heavy to keep open.

When I finally gave in to slumber, a faint amber light started to bleed into my room.

The game controller was still left in my hands.


End file.
